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Destressifying is a mind-set, a lifestyle. It’s not simply about conquering stress in the moment, but proactively shifting the way you receive, interpret and respond to life by cultivating a deeper awareness of stress and yourself. Destressifying is about learning to be your best and express yourself at your highest level in every situation. Whether stress is good or bad matters less than what you do with the moment when stress appears, and what you do with your life from this moment forward. So are you ready to destressify? Are you ready to allow the best version of you to shine forth? Here’s 7 tips to get you started.
Both our body and our mind are impacted by stress; yet, when the experience itself is clearly defined, is relatively short term with a beginning and an end. You will recover more quickly once you know what you’re stressing about.
Sometimes we view stress as a motivational force to meet a deadline or step through a challenge. But the consistent overflow of stress hormones that impacts our physiology, and the non-stop swirl of thoughts clouding our mind, create a state of consciousness where we simply become stuck, frozen, as if in a voodoo trance.
Think of the most stressful thing that has happened to you in the past month. How did it make you feel? Say it out loud. Now locate the feeling of discomfort it creates someplace in your body. Take a deep breath in and make a really tight fist with your right hand. Keep holding your breath. Now, holding that fist tight, tense your right arm from your wrist, forearm, elbow, bicep…right up to your shoulder. Hold this tension and your breath for 10 seconds and release both. Repeat with your left side then shake it out.
When you’re faced with an immediate stressor, calm yourself in just a few seconds. Breath in slowly to the count of 4. Hold that breath for the count of 4. Slowly exhale through your nostrils to the count of 4. When the last wisp of air is out of you, hold that breath out to the count of 4.
Neurotics are mentally unstable, right? Not really. Neuroticism is our tendency to experience negative emotions, such as anger, anxiety, or depression. We all have emotional triggers or hot buttons that drive us crazy. What we do with that information determines where we fall along the scale of neuroticism. Examples of neuroticism are: reactivity, inability to relax, ease of getting stressed out, frequency of mood changes and swings, ability to be easily disturbed or upset, capacity of worry, anxiety and sadness.
Stress occurs when our needs are not met in some way. By gaining clarity on your expectations, better understanding the situation, taking clear steps to meet your needs, and communicating them to others more consciously, you can become more destressifyed.
When you place attention on your needs (like you just did in step 6), and see how you prioritize them, a new horizon suddenly appears to understand others’ needs, also. Reflect on your core relationships; your spouse or partner of the moment, your closest friends, your parents, children, boss, co-workers, teachers or people that report to you. Pick just one person and for a few moments think about what their top three needs might be (even if you’re guessing). Next time someone pushes your button or they irritate you, understanding their needs will enlighten you not to take it personally because most likely they are acting to fulfill one of their unmet needs.